I remember the day we brought him home... Of all places we had stopped by a pet store to buy some ferret toys or what not... And John comes over to me with the little kitten and I protested him coming home with us... We had just moved out on our own... We already had one cat, 2 chinchillas, and I think at that point only 1 ferret... This pet store would take in cats that were from spring litters around our area because there are always to many for the shelter to take in... As much as I protested when he handed me this lil ball of puring fur... I couldn't say no.. He needed a home and we had one...( I told my parents all these years that he was found under our single wide.. Sry guys...I might have told a lil fib... Which is now out in the open) So he became our 2nd Kitty. He was a cute little kitty running through the house when he was feeling well but as a kitten the place he liked most was curled up in my lap when I sat on the floor with my legs crossed... He had many health problems as a baby and even a young cat... But after the first year or so maybe two... He snapped out of it and we really didnt have any other issues with him except when we lived in the city before he was neutered he single handedly took out ever carpet in our house... and even our sofa... Because the neighbors also had male cats... Anyways... i dont blame him... Its just what animals do... And We move on from the negative things and over them because we love them so. A few years into his life he started not throwing up but regurgitating his food... I wish I knew then what I found out yesterday... This is a sign of a tumor... a Liver tumor... Which is actually very rare in cats... So for years he has regurgitated his food on and off and I blamed it on him eating to fast... There where no other signs... He was always a plump kitty.. That would slim down ever so often when I would feed him different foods but over all was plump, happy, and healthy... But everything started changing a couple of months ago... I started regurgitating more and started losing weight... We blamed it on the food and changed the food he was eating. He just kept losing weight so i took him to the vet... They ran blood work, took xrays but found nothing so as dehydrated as he was and he was showing other symptoms so they decided it must be pancriatitis. they gave him fluids, and a couple shots of antibiotics and stomach meds and some take home of an appetite enhancer and antibiotics, subQ fluids, and some canned A/D ... that week he started doing so much better... He was eating and not losing weight, he was hydrated, we even let him back out with the other cats once his meds were done... But over the next few days he severely went back down hill and fast after the initial progress.. So I called in and rushed him back... Not knowing what we was going to find but really not thinking cancer... He felt in his lil belly. He was once a 14 or 15 pd cat and had shrunk to a 9.15pd cat very quickly... He felt his lil tummy and found a lump... Ok well a lump/ or tumor is removable... So I wasn't totally freaking out... The word Tumor or Cancer is a big one but I also know there is hope and was hoping for some time... After his ultra sound and Xrays he came back to tell me it was his liver... That it hadn't spread to his lungs from what he could see, But he couldn't tell if it has spread else where... With how far he had gone down hill it would only be a matter of a week or two and he would be gone if we didn't do surgery but he was also very stand offish with the surgery because it didn't guarantee him time if he opened him up and it had spread... But I went ahead and made the decision to have the surgery and give him a running chance at life... thats all i wanted for him... For him to be happy and healthy and have many more years... So they brought him back in for me to hold, comfort, and say be strong, we love you, we are doing what we are hoping is best and also our goodbye s just incase... Today I waited and waited thinking no call, is a good call... Because as long as there isn't a call I know he is alive and I know even if they are in surgery that they could go ahead with it because it was operable... but Sadly at 2:17pm I received the phone call that I was dreading... The cancer/ tumor was inoperable and was attached to to many organs, and had done to much damage... And we had already made the decision that if that was the case that we wasn't going to bring him out of a sugery to try to heel while cancer was playing a war with his body that he had already be losing... So we let him go. It would have been selfish of me to bring him our of that, in pain, to recover or try to recover just to pass very soon and who knows how that would have played on his poor lil body...As I sit here and write this... I can't help but to cry and keep telling him and god how much I love him... and how sorry I am to not have caught this and been able to treat it sooner so he would have had a better chance... And I also have mixed feeling about all of our/ my decision... Should I have spent the time he had left with him instead of rushing this along into a surgery? Did I make the right decision? Did I make the wrong one... ? What would he have wanted? Should I have brought him back out of the surgery and gave him that time that he would have had... Even if it meant trying to recover? I don't know... I just wanted what was best for him... and at this point I don't know if i gave him that or not...
but i hope.. where ever he is... that he knows how much we love him and miss him and will miss him. I hope he knows we tried to make the best decision what was was handed... I don't honestly know if I would have made the same decision today as I made yesterday... I wish i would have listened to myself in the middle of the night last night and went and picked him up, to live what life he had left as comfortable as possible at home, with his family, I can't help but to think that his last few minutes before going under anesthetics was probably spent in fear and i can't stand the thought of that... im just so sry Romie, so sry that we couldn't help you... and i am so sry a few weeks ago when I was sleeping and u was walking on me and just wanting to be with me... That I pushed you off of me multiple times... I will not forgive myself for that...
I know I/we was/were blessed to know him and all of our babies in this life and I hope one day I will be blessed enough to see him and all of our lil ones again... We love and miss you Romie... And we always will... Rest In Peace Romie
Will post a couple pictures soon...
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