Another loss...Brute Man

At my parents house My dogs that had been born there have always stayed there with their mother whom past last Dec. Today one of her pups past. He was at least 10 years old. He was my baby. His name is Brute. I will really miss seeing his happy face greet me at the door every time I go to my parents house. He was a great companion and member of our family. He will be greatly missed. we love you Brute Man!!!!

CHICKENS!!!!

I have been looking forwards to getting chickens for a few years now. It was never the right time and so we kept putting it off. But this year it was the right time. I have brought my babies home and have now had them for 5 days. Their personalities are ever growing and ever amusing. I can't help but see how they change daily and can't wait to see whats new tomorrow. Chickens are so lovely. They have more personality then I could have ever imagined. I can't wait to see them outside chasing bugs and scratching the dirt. They are awesome. We brought home 8. We know 3 are girls the rest we have no idea yet... So I have not named them. Some other them have personality treats that I can guess are pullet or cockeral.... but only time will tell. I also don't know what breed they are. But I will write a little about each chick. This is the pictures of the first 7 days that we have had them.

Isis- One of our Pullets. I think she is a Leghorn, Delaware, White Rock. She is growing wing feathers very quickly and also has some tail feather sprouts. He personality shines through. She is the first to try everything. She was also the first to kinda be a bully. She I think she will be the top of the peaking order. So I gave her the name Isis.. which means "she of the throne".


Gaia- Another of our Pullets. I think she is a Buff Orpington. She has been a very she girl for the first 3 days but is now starting to show a little more personality. She is a soft orange and a little darker orange mix. And is very pretty. She is soft spoken and really just likes to bask in the warm light. But she gets up and plays with all the others too. She is coming around to us now but on day 2 she had a pasty butt and had to be soaked. So she is a little more put off by us. She is getting her feathers a little slower. But she will squabble with Isis and the Yellow/Araucana chick too.

This little Chick we don't know if he is a cockerel or pullet. We think he is either a Araucana or Americana. He was the 2nd to jump up on our hand. He has an out going personalty like Isis and they kinda squabble a little. If one is sitting on us and the other wants to one will knock the other off. His wing feathers are coming in and he has a good amount today. He is one of our out going chicks. We also had to soak his little but one the 1st or 2nd day. He scared me because I didn't know chicks had belly buttons. His belly button still had a scab on it that night and I really thought something was wrong. So I came out and goggled Chicks belly button and figured out they do have them. But I also read about chicks getting belly button infections and a disease called mushy chick disease which scared me to death. So we put some Anti biotic ointment on it and he seems to be doing great. he is also the only chick who doesn't have a single comb sprout but a more round rose comb which really makes me think he is an Araucana.

This next lil chick again we don't know if he is a cockeral or pullet. He is a red island red. He is very shy. But I think that is because he had a pasty but on day 2 or 3 and I had to soak his but to get it off. So he really doesn't like to be handled still. But he likes to look up sideways. He does this more then any of the chicks. He has the cutest beak. It is half red and half yellow. His wing feathers are coming in kinda slow.


This chick we think might be a Cockerel just because he is the only one who stand like this. Every time we pick him up this is how he stands. It is very cute and funny. He has wing tip feathers. But not many more. He likes to jump up on our hand every so often. But he likes to make himself very tall and stick his had way up and look around very often. He is one of our out going chicks. We think he is a barred rock, dominique, or a americana.. I am leaning more toward dominique.

Mabon- The other Pullet that we know of. She is a little shy but is coming around and will now jump on our hands ever so often. She might be getting a little white bud on her wing feathers which are coming in kinda slow. She was all black when we first brought her home though. She was the only all black pullet they had. So I had to bring her home. She did put up a fight though. They really had to chase her to catch her. But she is very lovely. We think she is a black star or black sexton.



We also brought home 3 Bantoms. I was wonting some silkies. But the two I picked where not silkies. Silkies have 5 toes and our only have 4. But they are cute and we love them. We don't know the sex of either feather footers. They are really pretty. It is now becoming apparent just how small they are compared to the normal sized chickens. They both have single combs as far as I can tell. I think they are Cochins or Brahams.

This little brown chick is super cute. He is very she. The night we brought them home he had a pasty bottom and had to be soaked. Then we had to soak his bottom again yesterday. But he is doing good. Very shy though. I guess I can't blame him. He has been here 4 days and has been soaked 2 times. His feathers are coming in pretty fast on his wings. Next to Isis he is the most feathers.

This little chick is coming out of his shell....lol.. he is coming around to us more now. He hasn't had to have any soaks but he was very shy. In the last day he has started getting closer to us and even jumped on Johns hand yesterday. He is getting his feathers alot slower then the brown bantum.

But like I said above everyones personality is growing. Last night I was watching them play with a piece of lettuce. One chick would grab it and run like they were playing touch foot ball or something. It was awesome to watch. They also like to run across there enclosure and flap there wings like they are trying to learn to fly. That is great to watch too. They also play like leap frog or something. But like surprise leap frog... One will be standing there and laying and surprise another will land right on top of the other. You will here a chirp from the one who got landed on and a chirp from the one who did the landing. They are full of energy. I have started introducing veggies. They have had lettuce, tomato, & potato skin. I Have also given them apple. They seem very interested in all of it. I think I am going to try orange and kale tonight. We are also getting them organic chicken feed which we have to special order from tractor supply co. It is the Blue Seal brand. It is $28.99 a bag right now. So it is about double the price of regular. But I want them to be healthy and not a ton of extra additives being added to their food. But I will update on everything to do with them. I am so happy to have them in our lives. I will also put up brooding info, disease, foods.. I might start a chicken blog actually... as soon as I come up with a good name!!!

Moejo Handsome

We have brought a new baby into our lives. Not so much a baby.. But a one year old neutered Tabby mix. He is so sweet and gorgeous. I fell in love with him as soon as I seen him. I was out by myself one day in Morgantown. Stopped by Petco to get some food for the animals and found 1 little kitty waiting to be adopted from Friends of the four legged and furry... I feel for him.. He would come over and lick my fingers and rub up against me. So I called John and told him. He was at work. He didn't even blink and said ok. Which is kinda uncharacteristic of him. Considering we already have so many animals sharing our home. We have never taken in an adult cat. We have always took in kittens that we have found around our area in need of a home. I called John and had him call the Preston Co. Humane Society which was the cats original place. He had been placed in another smalled adoption group. So my husband tracked done all of that info and called and talked to them. They were really nice. They are a new adoption group and are stilling growing. We desided to think it over for the night and the next day I had to go to Morgantown to see my baby. So John and I left early went and seen him then went to eat. We descused it a little more then I finally called Fotflaf. A couple hours later they met us at Petcos adoption center and we brought our baby home. There was an $85.00 for. But it covered his neuter, vaccinations, Leukemia/ AIDS test, etc. The night before we brought him home we had decided we was going to call him Mojo. Which we found out was kinda funny the next day because they had been calling him Moe Handsome. So his Offical Name Turned into Moejo Handsome. We call him Moejo....

For the most part he is getting along with most of the other animals. Romeo, which is the kitty who takes up to everyone was of course the first cat we introduced to Moejo. They hit it off well. Storm & Dewy are doing good. And Beltane for the most part is pretty good. But Copper on the other hand is taking some time. He is grumpy and kinda has a habit of chasing Moejo Down. So we have to watch them pretty close. The dogs actually we were kinda worried about. Sophie would look through the cage and twist her head to the side like... hmmm.... a new play toy and this one moves!!!! But all in all the dogs have done great with him. And he has taken to our home, the animals , and us very quickly. He even played with us the first night we brought him home. We have yet to really introduce him to the ferrets though. He looks at them like they are moving food.. so..

Some more catch up!!!! Food

Whole Wheat Cous Cous Mix- Neither of us liked this!



















Trader Joes pasta mix w/ White bean sauce & Spinach














Brussels from Vegan Lunch box, w/ soyrizo which we later mixed into the roads end vegan mac














Another Shepards Pie.. This one was awesome!!!!!


































Pasta w/ Vodka sauce & vegan Garlic bread



















Mushroom Sammies














This Vegan StrawBerry Tofutti Cream cheese icing cake was made for Mine & Johns 7th year together!

Well...

It again has been a while since I have posted. Alot has been going on, I have been travel back and forth, I have been sick, and just plain busy or just not feeling like updating anything . So today I am going to take a couple of minutes to update what has been going on. A month or so ago I was traveling with my mother to and from her parents house helping to care for my Grandfather. He had terminal cancer and C-diff. He was treated for C-diff twice and was starting to get treated again and he past away. It has been very hard. This is something I didn't think we would be going throw this soon. I just can't help but to think about when they first started talking about removing his bladder. We thought he would recover and be with us for a while longer. And although he did start to recover he contacted C-diff right before leaving the hospital. We kept trying to treat it and he just kept getting weaker and weaker. It was really hard to watch and deal with. Then we had found out he had masses in his lungs. What we didn't realize is that the bladder cancer had matastized to his lungs and that Pittsburghs hospital just opted out of telling us anything about his lungs... But in the end it was the C-diff that took his life so soon. Before he had the surgery they gave him 2 years of life.... after surgery he had less than 2 months. And it was of poor quality. So it has been extremely hard. On top of that I had an erythema nodosum break out which lasted a month and a half and is still fading away. And the end of the EN outbreak always unleashes a massive head cold on me so I have been dealing with a stuffing head & aches.. and a snotting nose... We have still been traveling back and fourth to my grandmothers house trying to take care of all the bills and dealing with all of his stuff. I don't think the death of my grandfather has really hit my grandmother yet. She has been bust cleaning and wanting us to sort through his stiff. So we have been trying to. I takes alot. Alot of tear full moments including the one I am sitting here having as I write. I is so crazy how munch can change in such a short time. So we are still dealing... or trying to. So of the family are nit picking at each other and the stress just escalates the mood. Just a quick note... My grandfather (Pap) always had a garden.. and he would answer my questions when I plant mine and when I should plant it... I was so excited about planting this spring and now.. I don't have my Pap to help me... He used to give use the little potatoes and green beans and tons of squash and zucchini... corn.gourds.. it is going to be a tough spring and summer because every time I think of the garden I think of him.. and it breaks my heart that he is gone.

(Picture:Chey at Target the day my car broke down)O yeah I forgot to mention. Chey and I drove to Mo-town the day before Paps Viewing to get some clothes for the Viewing and funeral and what happens... My car breaks down.. It went into limp mode.. meaning it was stuck in 2nd gear and the speedometer went out. Lucky enough about a week after the funeral I was reading online and found out that the speed output censer had cone out. We bought the censer or at least what the parts store sold us as the out and it didn't work. Well they had sold us the In censer instead so we had to go get the out and luckily fixed the car. Plus I bought two new tires because mine were wearing uneven and you could see the metal belt on the one.. oops. O yeah and front breaks... at least the censer were only $20 a piece ... I was so afraid the TCM had gone out... I got off lucky with that for a change.

Next...We are getting 6 or 8 Chickens. I have been wanting Chickens for a few years now and we have finally had some many to build and coop and hoping to get the money to buy the rest of the materials for the enclosure soon. I am so excited but nervous at the same time. My aunt gave me Paps Chick water container and feeder. But I still have to get adult chicken supplies. I also have a bag of feed... not the kind I wanted. I wanted organic but could not find a bag any where. So the lady talked my husband into buying a 50lb bag of southern states crap.... so I still have to deal with that. He keeps telling me to use it then just get the good stuff when this runs out.. but I don't like that. So we will see. I might go to my bulk foods market and just purchase organic grain in bulk. I checked all the feed stores so I am still not sure what to do. We have the coop started. But since we have been so busy it has kinda been at a stand still. We have most of the wood already for it we just need the OSB for the sides or roof. I have osb for one but not the other. It has been so long since I bought it I couldn't tell you. I have started cleaning out a spot for the brooder and in a couple week we will have our babies.. I will definitely post pictures or them..

I haven't done much cooking lately. I have been lazy when I have been home. With the cold and everything I have just been down and lazy... I even got some new cook books and I haven't tried out anything in them yet... I got them in the mail the day of my Paps funeral. I got Vegan soups and healthy stews for all seasons & This crazy vegan life. Plus I bought the Green bible and The face on your plate. I haven't really got to look at any of them yet. I while back I even got Eating raw for dummies, Moosewood restaurant cooks for a crowd, my sweet vegan, and haven't had the time to try any of them.. there are a few more aswell... That is just sad.. some of those books I have had for 4 months. O yeah to read I also got Redemption, Harvest for hope, Heath, House, and so many more.. I don't even know where to start. I also have some cook books and pre-order through amazon....2 of Isa & Colleens new books... I am excited to start though... O yeah one quick fix... Whole wheat pasta with spinach, northern beans, and smart balance.. yum

Hopefully over the next few weeks and months stuff will even back out... And I will once again start updating.. keep checking back.... :)

My Grandfather Past Away

sooner then we all expected... write more later

Damn Eyrthema Nodosum!!!!

Well as I posted a quick note on the 25th that my Eyrthema Nodosum had returned..and of course it is still here and getting worse.

Menstrual info below......
The EN started this time at the end of what I decided had to have been my menstrual cycle. I spotted for a week but never had any cramps and never felt like it had been my actual cycle. But I thought maybe I got off easy for a change.... yeah right I started getting the hives before the end of that and I still have them. I started my menstrual cycle again about 4 days ago now (why can't I have a normal cycle?)and the nodules were not really sore yet. A couple of them had grew to be quite a good size but were not to pain full but now as my menstrual cycle is calming down and hopefully ending they are getting extremely sore! I also feel awful w/ headaches, musucle and joint pain & my back really hurts.. so... I guess right now that it is just a waiting game to see how bad they will get. I will update again soon.

Erythema Nodosum is back and doing .......

Yes its is back and I don't know what to say about it. I notices they had started about a week ago. Just a couple. Then a few more... now a ton and a couple really really sore spots around my achillese tendon, the top of my hip ... where my pants sit, the inter knee area... I just hope they don't get to bad this time. I will finish this post soon.

Death, an Awakening, and Grieving the living

When I was young I lost my grandmother to cancer. I was around 8 or 9 and we traveled back and fourth the 3 or 4 hours drive to be with her as much as we could. Through her Kemo we was there with her. We seen her go from healthy to sick and miserable. And we was there quit often. More then we was home. She was a big part of my life and the one thing that held my dads side of the family together. When we lost her it definitely changed the person I was. I understood at an early age what it was like to see someone suffer. To lose someone I cared about immensely. I learned that being there for the ones you love is not always the easiest but when you love someone you try to take the long walk with them. To the best of your abilities. You care for them through the hardest time of there life. And through what might be one of the hardest most defineing times of your own. For years after losing her certain things would trigger my emotions. No one could sing Happy Birthday.. we lost her right after her birthday. The words cancer and die was off limits... there was other things as well. The one that to this day that still gets to me is certain country songs. Riding in the car all those times. That long drive to see her. My parents listened to country music. I can't tell you the names to the songs. I can't, myself remember the lyrics to these songs. Till I here one come on the radio when I am in a store, or flipping through the stations on the radio and accidentally fall on a country station that has one of those songs. It is strange how the brain retains this information. Without use knowing. Anyways. Children cope with loss so much differently. I remember the night we received the news that she had past away. We was at home. It was late. I had been upset and had been sleeping in my parents room. I woke up and they were in the kitchen sitting at the table. I walked out and they told me she had past away. All of these memories flooded my mind. I knew what "died" meant. I knew we would go and see her at the funeral home. I had already been through other funerals but not someone I was so close to. I remember the viewing before the funeral.

I didn't cry. I was being strong for my parents. So I thought. I remember walking up to my dad and telling him that it was ok to cry and that everything was going to be ok.

I am still to this day learning how my grandmother's death affected me more then anyone knew it would. Watching some one suffer is one of the hardest things that you will ever have to face in life. Depending on how you take this suffering and what you do with it can determine the type of person that you are or will become. I am definitely glad that I had those last months with my grandmother. I would not want it any other way. I learned a lot of life's lessons through this situation. There are so many things that I would like to be able to put into words about what I have taken from that situation. But they are not thoughts. They are feelings & reactions to certain situations now. They are ultimately a part of who I have become.

I watch Doctor Phil ever so often and I know how he asks everyone who comes on his show to list a few things for him.

10 most defining moments in your life
7 most Critical choices that you have ever had to make
5 Pivotal people who have written on the slate of your existence

I think to do this is a very eye opening experience. I have been working on my lists and also kind of been working on it in essay form telling why I have picked these answers. John has been working on one as well and we have been sharing our answer. I think it really helps to find out where certain mannerisms in your life come from. I think that is also very important for self growth. And to be able to move on after certain situations. I am only 23 and I have been working on this list and although I have been here you know 23 years I am definitely having a hard time finding the 10 most defining and 7 most critical.

I still have a very hard time with loss. I like to control a lot of situations because of this. But I am learning to step back and be rational and try to view the whole situation. I am sitting here self examining myself not just for self growth today. But because I have recently been dealing with my Grandfathers terminal cancer. My Mother's father will not be here to meet my children when we decide to have kids. Unless it is very soon. My children will never have any memories with him like I do. At the end of last year we found out he had bladder cancer and that his whole bladder would need removed. We were dealing with that. He was dealing with that. We have watched my grandfather go from being very head strong about everything, very opinionated, rough, tough, just I'm not sure how to describe him so that you can get the picture. But now he is weak and quite. He has lost 40 pounds. While he was in UMPC he also contracted C- Diff. He can't stand up, bath him self. Everything people take for granted every day he can no longer do. His bladder was taken out and they told us he was cancer free. He was put back into the hospital a couple days ago for a blood clot in his leg. Where he hasn't been able to walk around. They took some chest x-rays because he was short of breath and found that he has lung cancer. Stage 4. So now it is only a matter of time. He is not going to see a specialist. He is not having Kemo or radiation and I don't blame him. Nor is he going to have surgery. I just wish they would have found this before his bladder had been removed. At least then his body would not being going through the healing process & C-Diff. And he might have had a better quality of life for his time remaining here. It is strange how you look at something one way until something so unexpected happens. And then it changes your perspectives on everything.

Grieving is such a weird process. Grieving the living is even weirder. I know every death is different but still the same. The same in that fact that it is the end of a life. Different in the matter of how they died, did they suffer, was it lengthy or quick? The grieving precess is different just in that fact. When it is a lengthy process you grieve for the loss you will have, the loss of the person as well as the loss of your relationship with that person, you grieve because they are suffering, you grieve because there is really nothing you can do to help them. But just try to make them as comfortable as possible. When they pass away your not sure what to do with all of that extra time that you had been putting towards that person. But sometimes you almost have a since of relief. One because they are not suffering any more. Two because you can finish the grieving process. But since you had been grieving that person since before death the anger, a lot of the time the denial has already past. You can take the sadness and finally move on. But when someone passes away unexpectedly the whole grieving process has to be done after that beings death. Though most time it is a shorter process. At least it is for me. Knowing that there was no suffering involved or very little.. helps me with that process. I really have never had a problem with denial of a death. Although some deaths I have taken extremely hard. I guess all this is about is psychoanalyzing the situation that I am in right now. Not denial just I think my way of starting the grieving process. And maybe how to better manage my grieving.

Pittsburgh Trip- 1st of 2009

As always I love going to stalk up in Pittsburgh on all of the stuff I can't get here. Plus stuff like organic pasta at Trader Joes. Where I save alot of money. So last Thursday they didn't have a route for John at work so he came home and we went to PA. This is the first trip to PA we have made since we got our GPS... and lets just say.. I LOVE IT!!! it saved us so much time. We got to go to so many places I had been wanting to go. We could have hit a couple more. But it takes me a long time To go grocery shopping. Last year the last time we went I swore I would never go back. We got so lost and wasted a ton of time. But this time everything went so smooth I can't wait to go back!!! I was so excited and just thinking about it makes me crave going another shopping stock up!! But right now my cabinets just can't take it. They are so full I have Cereal lining and table now. So he is an outline of our day and some pictures. Plus what I purchased! (This picture is of a Church we passed.)

I have been looking for screen printing and black printing stuff around my area but non of the art stores carry the emulsion, inks, screens, linoleum blocks.... the list goes on... So my first stop was The Artist & Craftmans Supply. It was a Medium sized store. No Bigger then an AC Moore, Micheals, or Jo Anne Fabric. But it had a tons of stuff! I was super excited! But I really didn't get to purchase much. I got some linoleum blocks, carving tools, & and small sketch journal for my purse. I can't wait to go back when I have more funds. It had evey thing for screen printing, block printing, clay, plaster, painting, scretching, pastels, the list could go forever...! They ahev pretty god prices. And I so can't wait to go back!

Next we went to Sur La Table. A kitchen supply place. I have been wanting to purchase some new professional cookie sheets and some other supply. But again being sort on funds the only thing I purchased was 2 big professional cookie sheets for around $18.00. It is a really nice store. They carry a ton of things. Very Very nice place!

Next up another art stop at one of the JoAnne Fabric super stores. It was a huge store but really didn't have anything I was looking for. Plus it took up forever to find. We had to stop for gas and then some how got on the wrong road so then the GPS took us the longest way around it could have. So it was supposed to take 15 minutes to get there. But ot took use more like 30 or 40. Plus it was a huge let down... I should have went to one of the other art stores on my list. O yeah. If I would have had time to go through the fabric I would have been excited. They have a ton of fabric!

The last few times we have went to Pa I have wanted to go to the Market District Giant Eagle. I pass it every time we go to Whole foods but I always forget and then I'm to lazy to turn around. But this time I had it scheduled into the day. I was really excited. When we pulled in I could not believe that the grocery store alone had a parking garage under it at least 2 stories below ground. Then we took the elevator to the store. It was packed. Yes it is set up like a market area. Very pretty with all the colors from the fruits and veggies. Plus it was the day before Valentines day so there was flowers and ballons everywhere. As well as people. Thea place was so packed you have to wait in line to walk around from veggie to veggie... It was awful. Then ontop of it... To find the things we normally purchase we had to fight our way through the rest of the store. I have always thought I would like our organic, vegan things beside the regular products at the store. But after that I realize just going to the natural section in our grocery stores saves a lot of time and annoyouses! so that stop was also a waste of my time.

Finally Trader Joes. Although doesn't have as many organics as I thought they did. I still love this store. I Love how things that are vegan are marked vegan. Plus they doe have really good prices on everything including their organic products. Trader joes had my biggest shopping list of the day. But I still only spent a little over a hundred dollars. I stocked up on bagels, soy ice creams, organic corn, breads, juice, pasta (I saved .50 on every bag compared to the price I pay for organic pasta here), I purchased some produce, tempeh, blue organic corn chips, veggie chips, soyaki, the list goes on!! It didn't take that long there. And I loved it!!!!

Next Whole foods.. I also love whole foods. But I wish stuff was not so expensive. We did stock up and get some new stuff to try as well. Stuff adds up fast when you are stocking up on pastry stuff to last like 3 months. So we purchased mac & chreese, snapcrisps (very good), 365 organic salsa (which I love), Sprouts, dairy free ranch, meat free bac o bits, organic tortilla shells, organic pickles, Organic French dressing, Soy ice creams, organic french fries, organic frozen veggies, organic stir fry. The picture doesn't show that much since alot of it was freezer food. O' yeah plus 3 bags of ice for the trip home... But I had a nice time there to ever though we spent around $150.00

Then we circled back to Trader Joes to pick up the soy ice cream and frozen food.

John decided to get the munchies so we decided to stop by the Subway and have veggie subs. But I got caught up at the Yarn store beside it. Natural Stitches has a good variety of yarns. Alot of cotten blends. But not many a vegan can use. Plus most were very expensive. A good book selection as well. When I walked in there was 2 ladies sitting talking about some lady they know who is on welfare. Actually they were nice to me but was speaking very rudely about others. I looked through there store. Then I went up to ask if they ever carried the loss "wool " like material for needle felting. I have seen it online but can't find it at any stores. She said she may be able to get a small amount in if I was willing to pay for delivery and the full amount of the martial. Then she kinda stops and thinks about that for a minute and she tells me that you can't needle felt anything but wool and I explained that I already needle felt with Eco plastic felt sheets and they turnout really good. Then she rudely said well we can't get that in. Just the tone and the attitude she had... I was kinda thrown back. I don't know where the attitude came from.. And John was just as astonished as I was at how her attitude changed. I don't know why.. maybe she is DID or maybe she is Biopolor.. .I don't know but something was definitely up with that lady!!! I know thats not nice of me right..... :) I really just can;t get over the look on her face and her attitude....

After that we went to Subway and ate. We had veggies subs. But the lady asked me 4 times what kind of cheese we wanted. Then she finally stopped what she was doing looked straight at me and said.... "Cheese still comes on the veggie subs".... "Yeah I know it can.... I just want veggies".... I mean come on....Then came home a new way... Over the river and through the